Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Who...?


Hey everyone, how u doin? U missed me?

Well... I've been away for a while... prolly like 2 months... and a lot has happened in those 2 months. I'm not even going to start talking about wut has happened for several reasons: one of them being the fact that I don't remember everything and another reason is that I do NOT want to remember everything. Life's still good, don't worry bout that, but yeah... life sux at times... 

I have soooooo much to write about... and I don't really remember every topic... So let's start with wut I actually do remember... and first of all I'd just like to say that it's the 23rd of March 2010, 20:42hrs according to the clock on my computer and I'm feelin' a lil bit sick; got the flu or something.

I've been doin' a lot of thinking lately. And there are 2 questions that have really messed with my mind. I don't really have the answer to any of both, which is, as u all might already know, no deterrent for me. I'm going to write them anyways and explain away wutever that is in my mind and try to make myself as clear as possible, even when I know that's almost impossible.

Question #1 - Who are you? or posted differently: Who am I?

This question has been in my mind for a looooong time and now I've decided to bring it to you; maybe u've got a better answer than I do.
Think about it for a second... If someone comes up to you and asks you "Who are you?", what would u answer? First of u'd answer with ur name. But now, is that really you? Or just a label for the flesh u represent? For the mind who u believe is urs?
"I'm a living person" -> alrite, that's true. But who are you? Are you the things that you do? The way u react? The way u handle urself in public? How bout in private...? Are you the same in public and in private?

Sooooooo are you how you act...? Are you the actions u take? Or merely the decisions u make? Cuz sometimes one has to do things that aren't really wut one wants to do... so u can't be ur actions... that would mean that u're wut u want and wut other people want... That's just crazy.
I'm not asking "What do you do?" I'm asking "Who are you?".

Let's try and take this to a higher level... Are you wut u think? The thoughts that cross ur mind... The ideas that u have... the illusions, the dreams... are you that?
Have u ever had a daydream about u saving the world from a savage beast or maybe an alien invasion? Yes? Are u that person? Are u the one who's going to save the world from an inexistent beast or a nuclear holocaust? Are ur thoughts really who u are? Or are they just a reflection of the one who really is u...?

Morals and values... Does that define who u are? Because if that's the answer... Well I've got a comment for u... How bout all the other people in the WHOLE WORLD who have the same morals and values as u do? Does that mean that u are them and they are u?

Who are you???

I believe that the answer to this question is extremely complicated and prolly not even rite (at least my answer). To answer this question I will try to explain who I am... This is going to be difficult... and I don't even know if it's a good idea...

I am... A man... A human being... A living organism... I breath and I feel and I think. I also react and sometimes I'm more of an animal than a human. Instincts can lead my life for a second or two and I'm just not deciding in those moments, I'm reacting. Reactions can be managed and learned to control but they're reactions nontheless. I'm a thinking being who can decide on many different aspects of life... I live under certain standards that define wut's right and wut's wrong. I also make up my own mind based on those standars to decide if something is write or wrong. The end doesn't always justify the means, but sometimes it's a close call. It's not easy being me... It's just as easy as it is to be u... Every person is a world itself and trying to understand is just impossible so don't even bother. I am also wut I do... Every action I take is a part of a decision I made or a reaction that happened and it shows who I am... Then again, I can change decisions and thus change actions. I may be a murdered, but that's because I choose to. I may be a drunk but that's because I choose to. I may be a jerk but that's just because I choose to. The actions that I take are only a reflection of a decision behind it.

I am what I think. I am what I do. I am what I choose. I am what I feel. I am...

I am who I am...

Question #2 - well... we'll talk about that some other time...

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