Passion

It's been a bit of a long day... Woke up a bit late, cuz I decided to go to sleep at 3 in the morning. It's not because I was working or anything, I just wanted to NOT sleep early... Helped my mom with a couple of things... Went to the park and played basketball and soccer for several hours. I'm sooooo tired that I can barely walk... And on top of that my back's hurting a bit, but it's manageable.

 Now back to the title of this short piece of my mind... It's a lil bit strange how a mind really works; I was watching a movie on T.V. "The Longest Yard", and lately all the movies I've seen have a feeling like the one I'm talking about right now. Not only that but some things in my life have happened and now I'm thinking about this even more. What are we doin' here in this world? What is our purpose? Our goals?

It's just that I've been thinking about happiness... I was a bit down a few days ago and since my laptop was broken (I've got another old one btw) I did a lot of reading. I eventually wound up reading a bit of a magazine where the topic was happiness. They were asking what happiness really is and I've been asking myself the same question. As a matter of fact, for those of you who actually read some of my blog entries/notes (depends on whether you're reading on FB or my personal blog) I said in my last post that I had another question for you... Well this is pretty much it: what is happiness? Do we have different definitions for it? Depends on the person? Does money buy happiness? What is it that makes us get up every day and smile? The answer... Well I don't really have an answer for this... I've thought about it, but can't really sum it up into one simple (semi simple) answer. In my case I believe happiness is a choice. You choose to be happy or choose not to be. Situations change, events happen... But you still have the option to smile or not. Anywho... This is not really what this post's about... This is about passion... Which just happens to be a part of the answer for happiness: you have to be passionate about something in order to be happy. Feel like you have something to do in life, somewhere to go...

Which incidentally brings us to our next point in the matter: we NEED goals in our lives. If we don't have them we're simply roaming around pretending to be alive when we're actually just taking breaths. It's VERY different to be alive than to simply breath... I don't think many will argue that point...

Nonetheless... We need something to look forward to. Some place we need to reach, some goal in need of achievement, something material to finally get, someone to love... It doesn't really matter if the goal is a matter of life and death... It can be getting fit, getting good grades, start reading books, stop drinking, found a millionaire company, found a small business, buy that dress you've been dreaming about for so long, buy that car or that house, make more friends, take care of those friends you've already got, say "I love you" more often, say "I'm sorry" more often, take someone out to dinner, take your parents out to dinner, text people you know letting them know you think of them, comment on their wall... You can do almost anything and make almost anything into a goal. It's not difficult and trust me, it helps your life.

That small sense of achievement once you've finally done what you were thinking of doing is indescribable... You start building steps; one at a time. Every time you finish something you set out to do you build a small but important step. At the end of your life you get to check the altitude. Maybe you're two feet above the ground, maybe you're right next to an airplane or maybe even right next to God... In the end we build those steps to get there... (Even tho we get there simply by asking Him... we still gotta build those steps...)

Take a minute this week... Sit down in front of a piece of paper; pen in hand. Start writing everything that you want to do. Really, think about it: how do you know you've been successful in life if you don't really know what you want to do? Trace a route... You don't have to finish EVERYTHING the first time... But at least plan your week. What do you want to do this week? How about this month? This next semester...? Who do you want to be...? What do you want to change...?

Start small, build on that small thing, make it big...

ONE

SIMPLE

STEP

AT

A

TIME

Every man...

Every woman...

Every child...

Needs something...

To live for...

Something to die for...

So what are you gonna do...?

Who...?

Hey everyone, how u doin? U missed me?

Well... I've been away for a while... prolly like 2 months... and a lot has happened in those 2 months. I'm not even going to start talking about wut has happened for several reasons: one of them being the fact that I don't remember everything and another reason is that I do NOT want to remember everything. Life's still good, don't worry bout that, but yeah... life sux at times... 

I have soooooo much to write about... and I don't really remember every topic... So let's start with wut I actually do remember... and first of all I'd just like to say that it's the 23rd of March 2010, 20:42hrs according to the clock on my computer and I'm feelin' a lil bit sick; got the flu or something.

I've been doin' a lot of thinking lately. And there are 2 questions that have really messed with my mind. I don't really have the answer to any of both, which is, as u all might already know, no deterrent for me. I'm going to write them anyways and explain away wutever that is in my mind and try to make myself as clear as possible, even when I know that's almost impossible.

Question #1 - Who are you? or posted differently: Who am I?

This question has been in my mind for a looooong time and now I've decided to bring it to you; maybe u've got a better answer than I do.

Think about it for a second... If someone comes up to you and asks you "Who are you?", what would u answer? First of u'd answer with ur name. But now, is that really you? Or just a label for the flesh u represent? For the mind who u believe is urs?

"I'm a living person" -> alrite, that's true. But who are you? Are you the things that you do? The way u react? The way u handle urself in public? How bout in private...? Are you the same in public and in private?

Sooooooo are you how you act...? Are you the actions u take? Or merely the decisions u make? Cuz sometimes one has to do things that aren't really wut one wants to do... so u can't be ur actions... that would mean that u're wut u want and wut other people want... That's just crazy.

I'm not asking "What do you do?" I'm asking "Who are you?".

Let's try and take this to a higher level... Are you wut u think? The thoughts that cross ur mind... The ideas that u have... the illusions, the dreams... are you that?

Have u ever had a daydream about u saving the world from a savage beast or maybe an alien invasion? Yes? Are u that person? Are u the one who's going to save the world from an inexistent beast or a nuclear holocaust? Are ur thoughts really who u are? Or are they just a reflection of the one who really is u...?

Morals and values... Does that define who u are? Because if that's the answer... Well I've got a comment for u... How bout all the other people in the WHOLE WORLD who have the same morals and values as u do? Does that mean that u are them and they are u?

Who are you???

I believe that the answer to this question is extremely complicated and prolly not even rite (at least my answer). To answer this question I will try to explain who I am... This is going to be difficult... and I don't even know if it's a good idea...

I am... A man... A human being... A living organism... I breath and I feel and I think. I also react and sometimes I'm more of an animal than a human. Instincts can lead my life for a second or two and I'm just not deciding in those moments, I'm reacting. Reactions can be managed and learned to control but they're reactions nontheless. I'm a thinking being who can decide on many different aspects of life... I live under certain standards that define wut's right and wut's wrong. I also make up my own mind based on those standars to decide if something is write or wrong. The end doesn't always justify the means, but sometimes it's a close call. It's not easy being me... It's just as easy as it is to be u... Every person is a world itself and trying to understand is just impossible so don't even bother. I am also wut I do... Every action I take is a part of a decision I made or a reaction that happened and it shows who I am... Then again, I can change decisions and thus change actions. I may be a murdered, but that's because I choose to. I may be a drunk but that's because I choose to. I may be a jerk but that's just because I choose to. The actions that I take are only a reflection of a decision behind it.

I am what I think. I am what I do. I am what I choose. I am what I feel. I am...

I am who I am...

Question #2 - well... we'll talk about that some other time...